Love and Relationship: Here’s All I’ve Learned So Far

Love is an emotion – a feeling of longing for someone special and to stay with them forever. But, like every other non-materialistic thing that exists in this world, even love fades away with time. What remains is two people who now have to decide how to carry forward this relationship. Because love alone isn’t sufficient to make a relationship long-lasting, there are other factors as well – understanding, communication, and a constant desire to stay loyal and faithful towards each other no matter what.

That said, being in a relationship is not worth it if you’re with the wrong person. At that point in time, breaking up to move on so you can find and be with someone you’re truly destined to be with becomes the only solution. But, how to take that decision? How to find out whether the relationship you’re currently involved in is not the right one? How to decide whether to move on or give it one more try?

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Honestly, I have been in three different types of relationship in the last couple of years and I still don’t have an answer! I guess that’s something we all have to figure our ourselves when the time comes. But, this is what I have learned so far about love and relationships.

  1. Love at first sight is possible. You need just a week to know if he/ she is the one made for you or not. ‘Love takes ages to happen.’ I used to believe this for a very long time until I started dating my last partner. It took a few minutes for me to realize that I had something to do with her. We had a connection or at least I believed so. And as soon as I realized that, I approached her and made her cognizant of my feelings. We instantly clicked and even after years we broke up, we remain GOOD friends. We still love each other but can’t be together anymore. The story of how I met her and how we started dating is really crazy and you will die laughing if I tell you. So, let’s not disclose that to ensure your safety. (You can text me to find out). Coming back to love at first sight, it really happens. That said, even if you know someone is made for you, things might take time because probably the other person is still unaware that you’re the one made for him/her. This actually is why it takes time for love to happen. So, either you be the smart one and make things work rather than waiting for things fall into place. If you don’t do that and things don’t work out for you as you desire, you’ll end up with regrets.
  2. Understanding & patience is more important than love. Once you find you’re ‘made for each other’ kind of partner, you have to understand the fact that understanding and patience is more important than love to make things work. You might not get it the first time but maybe after a few years, once you get married, you’ll come back and agree to this philosophy. The understanding between the partners is what makes a good relationship long-lasting. Want to find out if it’s true? You’re free to fall in love and apply the theory.
  3. Two hands make a good clapping sound. We all know this one; you need two hands to clap. If you don’t have two hands, you can either hit a wall or ask someone else to lend you another one. But, you can’t even try clapping with one hand. By hand here I mean people. You need at least two people and their commitment to make a relationship perfect. Efforts is what keeps relationships blossoming, and the same has to be in equal amounts from both sides. You can’t be the only one taking leaves, planning surprises or making efforts to make things work out. Even if you’re really patient and practical in life, you would get annoyed eventually. So, if you believe the other hand isn’t making equally efforts to make a good clapping sound, it probably means you’re no longer meant to be together. Move on! Move on before you damage yourself emotionally.
  4. Communication is the key to a striving relationship. No matter how romantic you are and how well you understand each other, misunderstandings are very common in relationships. You might even assume your relationship to be ‘perfect’ but there’s hardly anything that is actually even close to what the word literally means. So, everytime you two run into an argument or there’s simply something about your partner that’s bothering you, communicate it with them. They might feel bad at first but they would understand it eventually. Plus, it would make your bond stronger. Besides, perfect relationships don’t exist – the real perfection lies in staying happy with multiple imperfections.
  5. You can’t force anyone to love you, the feeling should come from within. This is something which happened in my case as well as with some of my friends. The thing is, you can’t make somebody love you as long as they are not willing to, from their own free will. No one can force anybody to love someone else or marry them. So, when you see your partner is no more in love with you, let them go. If they really love you, they will soon come back and this time, forever.
  6. If you love, you must stand for it. Do you realize why our parents disapprove of love marriage? Well, the simple answer is they never fell in love when they were young. The society was pretty strict a decade or even half a decade ago and love marriage and relationships didn’t exist. Thus, they don’t understand and we don’t really should expect them to. However, to ensure our young ones don’t feel the same resistance in future, you must ensure you have the guts to stand for your love if you dare falling in it in the first place. If you fall for somebody and the person has same feelings for you but you don’t end up marrying each other, you would grow up to become the old sad uncle or aunty who absolutely loathes love and relationship because it simply never worked out for you. You might even become a mother or father who would stop their children from falling in love because there would be a constant fear in your mind of your children receiving the same fate as yours. So, dare to stand for your love against all odds if you fall into it in the first place.
  7. Compromises are common but you shouldn’t be the only one making one. If you are in a relationship, you have to make compromises every now and then. For instance, you might have to cancel your late night party plan with your boyfriends or girlfriends, you might have to give up your solo ladies trip etc. However, there is one thing you must understand – you shouldn’t be the only one making these compromises. If you are, your relationship isn’t really working. It is more of a one-sided love or a job you’re doing because either of the two doesn’t have a better option or you’re simply scared of consequences you’re breakup would lead to.

Lastly, just because love and relationships can be difficult to manage sometimes, even involve emotional turmoil – you shouldn’t stop loving or making commitments for a long-lasting, forever type relationship.

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